1. Saying "I love you" immediately before, during, or following sex doesn't count.

2. Real men drive stick shift.

3. I will leave if you lie.

4. You are cute in raglan-sleeved T-shirts (two-toned baseball undershirts).

5. I'm convinced I'm pregnant and obsess about it for a minimum of 24 to 48 hours before my period, even when I have no rational reason to think so.

6. I love it when you hug me from behind and whisper in my ear.

7. "Fine" is never an appropriate response when I ask you how I look.

8. Most of the time when I fantasize, it's about you.

9. I'm terrified of becoming my mother, even though I admire her.

10. I get turned on simply seeing that I have an e-mail from you.

11. I expect you to call me.

12. Only rock stars are allowed to wear leather pants.

13. I'm scared of losing my independence.

14. I'm more forgiving of you than I really should be.

15. Oral sex is your get-out-of-the-doghouse-free card. Manolo Blahnik shoes also do the trick.

16. You did something bad. I seem cool with it. I'm not. (See directly above.)

17. If I'm not having sex with you, I'm...

(a) having a fat day.

(b) not feeling "connected" to you. Or

(c) blackmailing you to get something I want.

18. Shoes determine whether you're fashionable or not.

19. I own a Debbie Gibson CD, and I'm not afraid to use it.

20. When I compare my flabby tummy to a kangaroo pouch, say nothing.

21. A man I love plans the occasional fancy-schmancy dress-up date and impromptu weekend getaways, and he buys my favorite candy in advance when we're just going to the movies.

22. You look hot in hooded clothing items.

23. You should never tell me what to do.

24. If I slept over, you owe me breakfast.

25. My breasts love much licking and sucking.

26. If you ask me out directly, I will say yes.

27. I'm very impressed when you ask for my advice.

28. I'm unimpressed with a man who doesn't take the lead.

29. When in doubt, go with the shirt that matches your eye color.

30. I want to be Madonna.

31. Women get urinary-tract infections easily, so watch (and wash) your fingers.

32. I'm in heaven when you hold my hand.

33. You're sexy when you're shaving, fixing things, wearing a white T-shirt and jeans, driving, eating a peach, holding a baby.

34. I need to hear how you feel about me. Often. Tell me now.

35. Surprises, especially gifts for moi = more loving.

36. I want to be the best thing that ever happened to you--and for you to recognize this.

37. If I'm not feeling loved, I will start looking....

38. Discussion of ex-gf's and ex-bf's should be avoided at all times.

39. I like it when you tell me what you're thinking, even if you don't know yourself.

40. Celebrating our anniversary, even if it's only been a few months, earns major bonus points.

41. I love it when you're sweaty.

42. It's best to consult your gal pals for gift ideas.

43. A lady should always be greeted with kisses.

44. I like porn.

45. I love holding your bum in the palms of my hands.

46. Even nice girls like hushed dirty talk in public.

47. It's cheating as soon as you're doing something with her that you wouldn't want me to see, hear, read...

48. For the record: I'd rather you break up with me than cheat.

49. I remember everything about our relationship.

50. You should know all this and more with-out my telling you.

50 UNIVERSAL TRUTHS ABOUT MEN

1. Why should I remind you that "I love you?" I already told you once.

2. I'll do anything for sex; even commit to you for life.

3. I hate arguing with you. I'd much rather find a compromise.

4. I love long hair. Sorry, but I do. (HAHA! I bet Daryl freaked in his own head when I told him I cut my hair. He'll probably be thinking "AHH! Why'd you cut your hair AGAIN? Its already so short. I'll be dating a boy :O)

5. When you speak softly, I can't help but listen.

6. I need to be told "no" sometimes. Not a lot, but every now and again reminds me that you are expensive.

7. Please don't ask me how you look unless you're willing to trust my answer.

8. My eyes notice other women a lot more when you are upset with me.

9. When you're happy with me I can't help but want to please you.

10. If I don't feel I can make you happy, it makes me feel less than a man.

11. I expect you to be ready when I pick you up.

12. Cigarettes make any woman look cheap and easy.

13. I'm scared if I let a woman inside my heart, she'll take advantage of me.

14. If you can't stand up to me when I'm a brat, you're too weak for me to open up to when I'm upset.

15. Sitting quietly next to me after you've made me a meal is your get-out-of-the-doghouse-free ticket. You'll be surprised how quickly I can forgive.

16. You did something hurtful. If I never bring it up, I'm considering leaving you.

17. I don't read minds. Remember, I'm not a girl.

18. You may know fashion, but I wish you'd dress to please me, not other women.

19. If I'm losing my hair, it's not funny. Would you like me to joke about your weight?

20. When I talk to you about golf and you act bored, it would be nice for you to remember all the times I listened to you talk about what is important to you.

21. The woman I love is easy to please. She appreciates the effort I put into making her happy, even if I get the details wrong.

22. You look hot in a dress.

23. I hate being told what to do when I don't ask for help. It makes me feel you're my mother.

24. If you sleep over, I might eventually marry you, but I'm less motivated.

25. During sex my ears are as sensitive to your words as your skin is to my touch.

26. I need some type of signal or cue to walk across the room and approach you. What if you're married!?

27. It makes me feel like you trust me when you ask for my advice.

28. It feels competitive when you insist on being in charge.

29. Being respected is more important to me that being loved.

30. I want every guy to envy me when we arrive as a couple. Please don't let yourself go.

31. When I'm upset I am very tone sensitive. How you say it is more important that what you say..

32. I hate it when you minimize/ignore my compliments. It makes me what to stop giving them.

33. I'm more insecure than you think. Why do you think I need your respect so much?

34. I don't always know how I feel. That's why I don't tell you.

35. I don't need you to do things for me. What I crave is being able to please you.

36. If I do one thing and say something contradictory - Go with my actions, that will always tell you what's in my heart.

37. I find myself wanting to please you when you simply smile at me without asking for something. (Like a favor).

38. I really don't want to hear about any of your ex-boyfriends, regardless of the point.

39. If I don't share what I'm thinking it's because I don't think you will listen without interrupting.

40. I don't like to argue and I don't like to guess what's wrong. Just tell me so I can fix it.

41. I love it when you put your hair in a pony tail. Yes, it's a Freudian thing.

42. Don't ask me, "Are you going to wear that?" when I'm already dressed.

43. A gentleman should always be respected by his lady in public, even if she is disagreeing with him.

44. If you don't believe you're pretty, you won't believe me when I tell you, no matter how many times I say it.

45. It isn't how much you weigh; it's that your body is proportionate which is so attractive.

46. Sometimes I have weird and strange thoughts. I don't take them seriously and I don't want to share them with you (or anyone).

47. Sometimes you really don't want to know what I'm thinking. See above.

48. If you cheat on me, it is nearly impossible for me to get over it.

49. I don't remember everything about our relationship and that doesn't mean I don't love you.

50. I need some time to myself to calm down when I'm upset so that I don't say something I will regret.